Signs
- In the front yard
of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
- On an electrician's
truck, "Let us remove your shorts."
- Outside a radiator
repair shop, "Best place in town to take a leak."
- In a non-smoking
area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you
are on fire and take appropriate action."
- On a maternity
room door, "Push, Push, Push."
- On a front door,
"Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except
the dog."
- At an optometrist's
office, "If you don't see what you're looking
for, you've come to the right place."
- On a taxidermist's
window, "We really know our stuff."
- On a butcher's
window, "Let me meat your needs."
- On a fence, "Salesmen
welcome. Dog food is expensive."
- At a car dealership,
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss
a car payment."
- Outside a muffler
shop, "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you
coming." In a dry cleaner's emporium, "Drop your
pants here."
- On a desk in a
reception room, "We shoot every 3rd salesman,
and the 2nd one just left."
- In a veterinarian's
waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
- At the electric
company, "We would be delighted if you send in
your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
- In a Beauty Shop,
"Dye now!"
- On the side of
a garbage truck, "We've got what it takes to take
what you've got." (Burglars please copy.)
- In a restaurant
window, "Don't stand there and be hungry, come
in and get fed up."
- Inside a bowling
alley, "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin
drop."
- In a cafeteria,
"Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks
can eat any place they want."
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