If
Airlines Sold Paint
Buying
Paint From a Hardware Store
Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?
Clerk: We have regular quality for $12 a gallon
and premium for $18. How many gallons would you like?
Customer: Five gallons of regular quality,
please.
Clerk: Great. That will be $60 plus tax.
Buying
Paint From An Airline
Customer: Hi, how much is your paint?
Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends.
Customer: Depends on what?
Clerk: Actually, a lot of things.
Customer: How about giving me an average price?
Clerk: Wow, that's too hard a question. The
lowest price is $9 a gallon, and we have 150 different
prices up to $200 a gallon.
Customer: What's the difference in the paint?
Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's
all the same paint.
Customer: Well, then, I'd like some of that
$9 paint.
Clerk: Well, first I need to ask you a few
questions. When do you intend to use it?
Customer: I want to paint tomorrow, on my day
off.
Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200
paint.
Customer: What? When would I have to paint
in order to get the $9 version?
Clerk: That would be in three weeks, but you
will also have to agree to start painting before Friday
of that week and continue painting until at least
Sunday.
Customer: You've got to be kidding!
Clerk: Sir, we don't kid around here. Of course,
I'll have to check to see if we have any of that paint
available before I can sell it to you.
Customer: What do you mean check to see if
you can sell it to me? You have shelves full of that
stuff; I can see it right there.
Clerk: Just because you can see it doesn't
mean that we have it. It may be the same paint, but
we sell only a certain number of gallons on any given
weekend. Oh, and by the way, the price just went to
$12.
Customer: You mean the price went up while
we were talking!
Clerk: Yes, sir. You see, we change prices
and rules thousands of times a day, and since you
haven't actually walked out of the store with your
paint yet, we just decided to change. Unless you want
the same thing to happen again, I would suggest that
you get on with your purchase. How many gallons do
you want?
Customer: I don't know exactly. Maybe five
gallons. Maybe I should buy six gallons just to make
sure I have enough.
Clerk: Oh, no, sir, you can't do that. If you
buy the paint and then don't use it, you will be liable
for penalties and possible confiscation of the paint
you already have.
Customer: What?
Clerk: That's right. We can sell you enough
paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall and north
bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do the
bedroom, you will be in violation of our tariffs.
Customer: But what does it matter to you whether
I use all the paint? I already paid you for it!
Clerk: Sir, there's no point in getting upset;
that's just the way it is. We make plans based upon
the idea that you will use all the paint, and when
you don't, it just causes us all sorts of problems.
Customer: This is crazy! I suppose something
terrible will happen if I don't keep painting until
after Saturday night!
Clerk: Yes, sir, it will.
Customer: Well, that does it! I'm going somewhere
else to buy my paint.
Clerk: That won't do you any good, sir. We
all have the same rules. Thanks for painting with
our airline. |
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